Reserve Bank leaves OCR unchanged, issues warning

2012-01-25T12:47:00.000-08:00

Reserve Bank Governor Allan Bollard, this morning, announced the official cash rate is to remain at a record low of 2.5% but warned hard times are ahead if New Zealanders refused to stop fucking with him.

The Governor appeared unsteady on his feet this morning as he addressed a small congregation of journalists and economic analysts.

Dr Bollard painted a picture of a slightly improving economic conditions but warned that constant attempts by the New Zealand public to 'hide [his] slippers' and 'slip Milton [his aging border terrier] cruel mixtures of laxatives and sleeping pills' would eventually be responded to with 'hard as fucking nails retribution'

Sources close to the Reserve Bank head have attributed this mornings unusual announcement to the Governor's recent private foray into chemical engineering.

The storm had broken, lucky Pug.

2012-01-19T18:07:00.000-08:00

Quote of the day

A CEO runs a competitive business that has to earn money. The council is a monopoly that does not have to earn money. It just demands money from ratepayers. So Mr Marryatt’s job is merely to oversee the spending of a guaranteed income.

The General Response

Reserve Bank leaves OCR unchanged, issues warning

The storm had broken, lucky Pug.